Written by Dr. Koch and José Ontiveros Koch
My husband, José, and I are completing professional training to facilitate the Imago-based ‘Getting the Love You Want’ Couples Workshop. This educational program is an immersive two-and-a-half-day experience on enhancing communication and building intimacy. We are excited to announce that the first workshop will be offered at Therapy Changes in June 2024! In the lead-up to our first workshop, we wanted to share a few things we learned from attending the workshop ourselves six years ago. These lessons have helped our relationship immensely and we are still practicing the skills today.
Lessons learned:
The workshop introduced us to Imago Couples therapy techniques for a new way to talk and listen. We learned the skills necessary to actively listen to each other. For example, we learned how to use the 'mirroring' technique, which is when one person repeats back what the other person said. This helped ensure that we truly understood each other's perspectives before moving forward in the conversation. Mastering this technique has been a game-changer in our relationship. We now have a deeper understanding and empathy for one another.
We learned how differences in our upbringing impact our communication styles. Once we recognized how our backgrounds and experiences influence our communication styles, it opened our eyes to the different ways we perceive problems and how we communicate. This awareness helped us better navigate these differences in our relationship.
José experienced a great deal of personal growth during the workshop experience. He learned valuable skills to shift away from a reactive mind to asking for what he needs. As a couple we gained strategies to move away from reacting unconsciously to each other and towards expressing our thoughts and feelings openly by asking for what we need. This shift fostered support, empathy, and understanding in our relationship.
I was captivated by the concept of staying curious. The workshop underscored the significance of maintaining a sense of curiosity about each other. This perspective fostered an ongoing learning and understanding within our relationship that continues today. When we remain curious toward one another, we reduce assumptions that we have about the motivation behind each other’s behavior and remain open to learning something new about our partner that we didn’t know before.
The Getting the Love You Want workshop is a great opportunity for any couple to learn more about each other, and themselves in a safe environment. The workshop is educational; it is not therapy. This means the amount that you share with others is entirely up to you. This experience will teach you how to break destructive patterns of communicating and build new pathways for increased understanding, compassion, and closeness with your partner. Ample opportunities to practice new behaviors will be provided, with professional guidance from the group facilitators. You and your partner may be surprised at what is possible when you listen – really listen – to each other. Together you will work toward a common vision of your dream relationship.
We invite you to join us at our upcoming Getting the Love You Want Couples Workshop this June. Contact Us today for more information and to register. José and I look forward to meeting you soon!